We’ve all been there when a discussion turned into a disagreement, which blew up into a quarrel or a fight. Discussion, or even disagreements, are not the problem, however. The problem is when these things descend into a quarrel.
The Greek word for “quarrel” (such as in 2 Timothy 2:24) refers to a “fight,” such as in an armed struggle in war, or a “war of words” (Thayer). When people fight with weapons, they intend to injure or kill others. When people fight with words, they use their words to cause harm to the other individual, and this is what God warns us to avoid. Let’s notice a few ways we can keep ourselves free from quarrels.
Don’t Get Started.
Proverbs 17:14 says, “The beginning of strife is like releasing water; therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts.” When flood gates open, water pours through with unstoppable force. When strife, or a quarrel, gets started, it’s like opening the flood gates – it’s nearly impossible to stop once the words start flying.
When you realize a disagreement is on the verge of becoming a fight, stop that discussion before things get out of hand. Use “gentle” words rather than “painful” ones (Proverbs 15:1).
Just Walk Away.
Proverbs 20:3 states, “It is honorable for a man to stop striving, since any fool can start a quarrel.” We live in a culture that promotes defending our “honor” against insults. However, God says honor lies not in starting or escalating a fight, but in walking away from it.
When you walk away from a fight, people may taunt you for being a “coward” or a “chicken.” But by abandoning a fight, you remove the “fuel” required for the quarrel to continue (Proverbs 26:20-21).
Mind Your Business.
Proverbs 26:17 warns, “He who passes by and meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a dog by the ears.” We understand how foolish it would be to walk up to a strange, stray dog and grab its ears in both hands. Inserting ourselves into somebody else’s fight is just as foolish.
Sticking our nose where it doesn’t belong – being a “busybody” – will not accomplish anything good (2 Thessalonians 3:11). Mind your business, or somebody will end up getting hurt.
Remember Who You Serve.
Paul warned Timothy to “avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife.” He followed that warning by reminding Timothy of the behavior expected of the Lord’s servants. “And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition…” (2 Timothy 2:24-25).
Avoiding quarrels is not merely a “good idea” – it’s a command given by the Lord to His servants. Do we serve the Lord? Do we respect His authority (Matthew 28:18)? Then we would be wise to listen to and obey Him.
